The day after Violet was born, I decided to get discharged early. The L&D was busy which meant I had to share a room with another mom who also had a baby in the NICU. I wanted to go home to my own bed And recover physically and mentally in the comforts of my own home. After a bunch of paperwork, we packed our bags and went to say goodbye to Violet in the NICU. As we walked out the hospital doors to our car, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I was leaving empty handed. There was no longer a baby in my belly, there was no baby in my arms and all I had to take home with me was sadness and pain. Billy and I tried to rest and keep busy when we got home... Billy built her swing, bassinet and pack n play while I tried my best to rest and heal. For the next week we went to visit Violet in the NICU at least 3 times a day. It was difficult to be able to bond with her with all the wires and beeping monitors. It was a difficult week, it was a long week and it was a depressing week. Every single visit that week we left empty handed... we left without our sweet baby girl.
